Soooo....

It's been almost a year since my last blog entry.  Whaaaaaaaat, you're saying?  I know, right, it's crazy how fabulous my life has been- so much so that the thought of writing a blog doesn't even enter my mental space!!  It's been soooooooooooooooooooooooooo fabulous, like mucho mucho.... ugh, I can't even finish the joke.  Look, since my last entry, I've gotten a job (yaaayyyyyyy!! Hooray all day for money), lost 12 lbs, gained 10, "completed" Tough Mudder (completed is in quotes because it is a "relative" term here), traveled to Bulgaria, bought World Cup tickets for this coming year.  The Beautiful Monster is growing and scores big points with his day care provider for roaring quietly now, and I- well, until recently- get more sleep.  I'd say I've been pretty good.  BUT- the one big goal, for which Tina (that's what I feel like calling the other half that started this blog journey with me) and I originally wanted to start this blog for- was losing enough weight to fit into bikinis by our 35th birthdays.  Well, I am turning 36 this year, and a bikini on me looks like... well, I was trying think of something witty, but what's more witty than the image of a fat person in a bikini?  I dare you to think of something.

Well, I'm going to Brazil in July this year.  And I know I won't be wearing a bikini- there just isn't enough time between now and then.  BUT- I do want to go on the beach with a sexy bathing suit, and more importantly, I want to dance a LOT with hot Brazilian guys... and a little sex wouldn't hurt anyone, either.  But I digress (do I, though?)... So the goal(s) has(ve) changed:

• I want to be 50 lbs lighter than I am now.
• I want to dance so fearlessly and vigorously on the beach in Brazil that people want to join me.

Not too bad, and definitely doable.  To that end, I have been dancing my ASS off at Zumba, because my teacher is hot, and I want to look like her dancing one day.  She dances like a stripper, a good one- one you want to touch their skin because it looks so soft, and it looks like she enjoys dancing in it.  Not the crusty ones.  Never the crusty ones.  I have also bought a book- it's called The Healthy Green Drink Diet by Jason Manheim- and I am aiming to replace one meal a day with a Green Juice.  At least to start.  I've done it for a few days already, and so far, it doesn't seem hard- the drinks are delicious, and I actually am sated by them.  Go figure, fatty- there is more than one way to fill up.  Just ask Kim Kardashian!!  (Okay, that was rude.  But fun. And true.)  Also, my body does this thing afterward, where- internally, of course- it feels like it's pushing against itself.  I can't quite explain it, but it happens every time I drink a Juice.  That feeling lasts less and less time now, and I wonder if that's a good thing.  Anyway, to wrap up (because walking zombies make dead decisions, remember?):

1. JUICE - I truly believe in the good it's doing for my body; I mean, I get 3-5 servings of fruits and vegetables knocked out in ONE JUICE.  It's silly not to drink them.
2. SLEEP - because I obviously need the reminder, since I am going to sleep after 2am for like the 4th night in a row... good night.

Where were we?...

Oh yes- we were talking about how we're going to get this thing started.  Well... 3 weeks later, we're just getting started.  Better late than never, as they say, right?  It has been almost three weeks since I last weighed myself, and Wednesday is the starting weigh-in day.  I'm pumped to see the weight, because when I divide it by 10, it will tell me how many pounds I'll shed in water weight from crying at the original number...  No fear!!

I have spent much of my time these past few weeks playing with my son (hereafter referred to as the Beautiful Monster), and trying to find myself employment.  During that time, I have also miraculously been able to put together a comprehensive guide for ourselves: the Wishful Eating Dietary Guide Extraordinaire (or the WEDGE- and yes, it is extraordinary) on what to eat and do, and what not to eat and do.  It's a work-in-progress, of course- right now I'm just happy to have "Eat your veggies" (in my best cavewoman voice) in there.  We will be posting pieces here and there from that guide to share.

I have decided to make at least one day a week a vegan day.  It's more of an experiment than anything, right now- I just want to see if I really notice a difference in the way I feel, vs. other regular meat-slobbing days.  I have this amazing app on my phone- Vegan Yum Yum (that's the website name, too)- that has a wonderful plethora of vegan recipes that taste great!  I started last week, on Wednesday- I cooked and ate only vegan meals.  Assessing how I felt was a challenge- mainly because I really am not always paying attention to how the food I eat makes me feel.  But I can say that I did notice that I didn't feel like laying down for most of the day- I actually had the energy to make my bed and wash my ass!  Usually I slug my way through those mundane activities, like most Sloppy Janes, but I was actually present for them and more throughout that day.  I did crash around 4 or 5 o'clock, but I can attribute that to two things: 1) 3 hours of sleep the night before, and 2) eating lunch at 12pm and no snack 3-4 hours later; I didn't eat again till about 7, AFTER I went to the gym.  Not too bright.  So I know for next time (especially since it is in the WEDGE!) to:

1.  SNACK.  Snack between meals, it keeps me from crashing.  I'm not talking about a donut in the morning and a bag of Doritos and a Pepsi in the afternoon, fatty- I mean healthy snacks that are filling and low in calories.  And good.  Like apples and other fruit, or Fiber One bars (oats and chocolate? yes, please).

2. SLEEP.  When I don't sleep at night, I'll want to sleep during the next day.  Except I can't- remember the Beautiful Monster?  So I'm a walking zombie.  Walking zombies make dead choices- especially dietary ones.  So a bacon double cheeseburger seems like such an excellent idea at lunch time, because I'm tired and I want to eat already and wake up and I haz cheezburger... it's a terrible sight.  So I should sleep.

That said, it's time for me to do just that.  Talk to you lovelies later.

Blogs and resolutions

Just what have I gotten into here?  I know nothing about creating a blog, and when I use the tools to help me create one simply, I find out that there are a million things to think about- like widgets (???) and RSS (??????) and whether you want to have calendars or pictures or both, and where you want them... who knew starting a blog would be so complicated???  And I am smart- I went to college.  (In case you didn't know, ALL college-educated people are smart.  ALL OF THEM.)  I'm plowing in, anyway.

Anyway, I start my Exercise regimen tomorrow (I've decided to make anything I deem essential to this journey a proper noun).  Two weeks of holiday eating at its finest has taken its toll- I managed to avoid peppermint bark (aka Christmas crack), but indulged shamelessly in strawberry cake, baked ziti, and tempura, and pancakes.  An interesting melange (I love that word) of stuff that has settled comfortably onto my midsection with its previous relatives.  I found the five pounds I lost before those two weeks, and I'm ready to get back into my groove.

This isn't a resolution thing; no no, resolutions are cute and all, but like diets, they don't last and they make you cry- all at the same time.  No, I'm picking back up on my lifestyle change- one Meal and Exercise session at a time.  We're gonna use this space to not only document our journey into bikinis, but also to review any Weight Loss tools we may come across, or ones we've used in the past.  It will be fun to see how we do- I bought this dress that I plan to fit into by my birthday come hell or high-waters (because I think those are just about worse than actual high water).  Let the journey begin!